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Closeup Kitty

50 Shades is Everywhere!!! Run screaming!!!

Bad enough that the women where I work are talking about 50 Shades. I bite my tongue.

But there I was at the vet yesterday. I came in the middle of a conversation. This customer was talking about “Christian”, and the receptionist thought she meant Christian Bale. But no! She was talking about “50 Shades of Grey” and started wondering who to cast in the role of Christian. She *did* consider Christian Bale for a moment but decided he was “too old”.

She then mentally cast the role of Anastasia. She decided Kristen Stewart would be *perfect* for the part. And that she said, “I wish there were more stories like this!”

I opened my mouth and out came the words: “That’s because Anastasia *is* Bella.” And then I said, “Google Twilight fan fiction.”

She also made a comment that her sister didn’t much care for 50 Shades and urged her to read Danielle Steele instead, because Danielle’s books were “much better”.

Run screaming!

(I made it through 50 pages of Twilight. I made it through one chapter of “50 Shades”. I did not throw either book against the wall only because I had borrowed them from someone else and destroying their books would be tacky.)

...and Buffy staked Edward. The End.


My thoughts exactly! I'll add that as a mother of a young daughter, should my child ever decide she wants to read "Twilight" or "50 Shades" I'll only allow it only as a cautionary tale. "See darling, this is the definition of unhealthy relationship, co-dependent even, in a fantasy setting... oh, and the writing is not that great either." ;)
Bella was so self-deceiving. When she gets to her new town she's all "Woe is me, nobody loves me everyone hates me, I'm gonna eat some worms", when it appeared to me she had several people eager to be her new BFF. I didn't even get to the co-dependent part. (I give any book I start till page 50 and then I'm either hooked or else I'm done with it.)

And what is the deal with vampires having to take high school again - and again and again! Is this vampire hell? Couldn't they just say they were home-schooled? (Guess that would destroy the whole plot...)

I won't even talk about the writing....
I have a t-shirt that says, "...and Buffy staked Edward..." on it. People run up to me and hug me whenever I wear it.

I made it all the way through Twilight (what can I say? I'm a masochist!), but I still wish I could get those two afternoons back.
I didn't want to read Twilight but then a friend said, "well, try it, out of curiosity" (that's what she did).
And what a grand experience it was :-)

I read the books in a few days, because it was just SO hilarious: extremely badly written, ridiculous situations, unhealthy relationships... It read like a parody of crack fic, if such a thing is possible. It was also a bit like watching a bridge collapse, or an accident happen: you know you really shouldn't, but you just can't tear your eyes off from the disaster unfolding under your eyes.

I mean, now I know that really bad things can get published :-)
I read Twilight because my best friend wanted me to. She swore it was bad but addictive. I missed the 'addictive' part, was bored stiff for several hours, and would like those hours of my life back please.

I refuse to read 50 Shades even for mocking purposes, because I have shit to do and don't want to spend my tiny amounts of free time reading crap books.

But I'm SO tired of seeing stuff on it. :p
I can't really comment too much about 50 Shades because I've only read glanced-at sections.

I can comment on Twilight. I read all the books and have seen all the movies. I actually like the movies better than the books.

The books are not great literature, that's for sure. There are writing faux pas, yes. But they tell a story that, if that's your thing, can be compelling. I wanted to throw the books against the wall several times myself because of such deep frustration with the character of Bella, but I actually liked the rest of the ideas and characters and the fourth book ended up being the best.

The movies: I have no problem with them. I enjoy them.

I like romance and I know when I read it that traditionally it is not well done even from the olden days of reading Harlequins as a teen...some really bad stuff out there but sells like hotcakes...or fast food. Running across good ones (either het or m/m) is like going on a hunt for a griffin. You keep thinking, "Maybe it doesn't exist!" So what happens when I like a genre is that I end up lowering my standards and settling for story over writing content. Occasionally there are good surprises...good writers AND good stories. But it's extremely rare.

I think people who like 50 Shades do not notice the writing. They are not writers and editors, just readers. They want a story and 50 Shades gives it in some way that satifies their "romance" craving. And for "vanilla" romance readers it may give a little more edge and that will titillate all the deadend, bored housewives out there with no imaginations of their own.

We as writers cannot forget that most of the reading public out there does not discern much difference between good writing and bad as far as style and grammar, go. They just want a good story and lots of angst and sex. They don't really care how they get it.

Therefore, I find reviews that call Meyer or James "not real writers" somewhat unfair when they are delivering something in a package that just so happens the public might be hungry for. Knowing no better, the public devours it. That's the world we live and write in.

I also think a lot of sites that make fun of these books are downright mean. I have read some really hateful things and I'm not really sure that outright personal hate is deserved. Anyone has the right to give a book a bad review and dislike it, but to go further and make fun of it and the author is...well, kinda horrible.

To each his own. 50 Shades is not my "thing" (I read mostly m/m) but I need to learn from it what that author has done to be laughing all the way to the bank.
Just had to add, I like your post. It made me laugh. I liked it, which is why I responded. Please don't take my last post as any criticism to you!

Also, just to add, there are repeat bestselling authors who are very wealthy who I can't stand who are favorites of some of my friends. Dean Koontz is one. I think he is horrible and can't stomach his writing at all no matter how compelling the story. But he continues to amaze me by being a bestseller and I have friends rec'cing books to me by him all the time but I just can't get through them.
Loki riding

June 2019

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